


Just One Little Favor

by sasstasticmad



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friends With Benefits, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 13:15:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3611400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasstasticmad/pseuds/sasstasticmad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This pregnancy is doing some strange things to Phoebe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just One Little Favor

**Author's Note:**

> I love Phoebe/Joey. 
> 
> I love it a lot.

Pregnancy is the miracle of life and on some level it is really frickin’ cool to be carrying life inside of her, like she’s a goddess bestowing a gift upon the world. However on another more accurate level, Phoebe feels disgusting.

 It’s not like it was entirely unexpected. She knew she was going to get fat, didn’t even mind it. She knows what’s it like to starve and every time she eats that third muffin or demolishes a sandwich, she thinks about how lucky these babies are to be getting so much good food already. They’ll never know what it’s like to be hungry, never have to rob hapless teenagers in order to find their next meal.

 What she didn’t expect was everything else. Men don’t look at her like they used to, they give up their seats on the subway lest she have a small child fall out of her, but there’s no heat in the shared glances.

 She’s peeing all the time too. It’s not like she couldn’t just buy some adult diapers; the bodega clerk would assume they were for her grandmother, but it’s the principle of the thing. She wasn’t supposed to deal with diapers. That’s not the surrogate’s job.

 But none of these side effects compare to the constant state of arousal she finds herself in. The slightest thing sends her to her bedside table in search of her vibrator in a desperate need to get off.

It gets to the point where she starts finding _Chandler_ attractive. Chandler Bing shouldn’t appear in her sex dreams. If she’s being perfectly honest, he shouldn’t be appearing in anyone’s. But he does and after a dream where it’s basically them fucking but his fingers are made of cigarettes, it becomes apparent that Phoebe needs to call in a professional.

* * *

 

They’re in the midst of their monthly ritual, demolishing milkshakes and fries, when she decides to ask.

“So,” she says, twirling a swollen finger around the rim of her strawberry milkshake glass, “you want to fuck my brains out?” 

This was apparently imperfect timing because Joey comes very close to choking on his mouthful of fries. 

Once he’s done violently coughing and they’ve both reassured the waitress that nobody needs anything; he leans back against the red vinyl of the booth, a confused expression on his face.

“But you’re pregnant!” He tells her this like it should be a surprise, like she could have blamed her expanding stomach on too many donuts. “You have babies in you, Pheebs!”

“I know I do, honey,” she says with a level of patience that only kindergarten teachers seem to have. “ And I love them very much but they are also the reason I can’t concentrate on anything other than getting off.”

“Don’t you blame being horny on those little guys,” Joey says, his eyes darting down to her stomach. “Those are your niblings." 

“They aren’t giblets, Joey.”

“No, not giblets,” he replies a little smugly, crossing his arms in front of him. “ _Niblings_ , it means your niece and nephews. I know words too.”

He cracks a smile at her right then but apparently remembers the favor she just asked because his face falls almost as soon as it brightens.

“You don’t need me to get off, Pheebs,” he says, leaning forward and grabbing her hand from where it rests on the plastic table. “You’re a beautiful woman, all you have to do is say the word and I’m sure any guy would be dying to bang you.”

“Awww, you’re sweet,” Phoebe replies. “Wrong but very sweet. Ever since I’ve been showing, I’ve been invisible to all men. The only date I’ve been on in the past six months was with a guy who ended up running a fetish porn website and that’s only because he to film me rubbing my belly with fish oil.”

“If guys are too stupid to date you, then it’s their loss,” Joey tells her, giving her hand a squeeze. “I’m pretty dumb and even I know that you’re amazing.”

“You don’t need to be so nice to me, Joey,” she says exasperatedly.  “I already said I want to have sex with you.”

“You’re my friend,” he replies, a little defensively. “I’m always gonna be nice to you.”

 They sit in silence for a brief moment. It’s not long enough to truly be considered awkward, and yet Phoebe already feels ashamed for failing to keep her hormones in check.

 Joey is important, more important than the rest of the gang put together (although she probably wouldn’t say that out loud for fear of Monica's swift and painful retribution), and if she ruined their bond by threatening him into sleeping with her than she deserves to never have as good a friend ever again.

Joey finally breaks the silence and it’s no small mercy when he does. 

“But say we did,” he says this while cocking an eyebrow and Phoebe can already tell that his penis has become involved in the decision making process. “We have sex…” 

“Amazing sex,” she says, interrupting his train of thought.

“Of course, it’ll be amazing,” he says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s us. But that’s not what I’m worried about. I wouldn’t want this to make things weird between us and never get to hang out like we do now.”

“That could never happen, sweetie,” she says because now she’s the one in charge of meaningful hand squeezes and reassurances. “You’re the most important man in my life. There’s no way anything will change that.”

“I’m still not sure.” There’s only a hint of doubt in his voice so Phoebe decides it’s time to pull out the big guns.

“My boobs are already two cup sizes bigger,” she says nonchalantly.

His eyes light up and it seems that Joey has never moved faster than when he throws a handful of wadded up bills onto the table. Still grabbing her hand, he moves them out of the restaurant and Phoebe can’t help but think that she probably should have just mentioned her boobs from the get-go. 

* * *

 

Monica always complains about how the boys live in squalor but Joey’s room is always pretty tidy. Joey likes girls and girls like a clean room, so the clutter is confined to the living room.

She sits down on the edge of his bed; she can only stand so long before her ankles start to kill her. He doesn’t join her, chooses to stand in front of her with eyebrows raised.

“Soooo,” he begins, shrugging his shoulders. “How we gonna do this?”

“You can start by taking off your clothes,” she tells him, kicking off her sandals and looking up at him expectantly. “Being naked tends to help with the whole sex thing.”

“Definitely true,” he replies. Almost instantly, he begins stripping. It’s like being in the champagne room except instead of a sparkly costume, it’s a baggy sweater and jeans falling to the floor.

Joey has a nice body, muscular but not too hard. The kind of body that’ll feel nice pressed against hers. This is no new revelation, they’ve been friends for too long for her not to have seen him at least partially undressed, but it’s still nice to see it once again confirmed in person. 

He shucks off his boxers and now that he’s entirely naked, she can’t help but feel a little powerful, smug at the fact that he’s already getting hard. 

“Your turn now,” he says, voice a little gruffer than she’s used to hearing. “It’s only fair.”

“Alright,” she says, letting out a little sigh. “But keep in mind that I’m six months pregnant. I’m usually a lot hotter. “

“You’re always hot, Pheebs,” he says. He’s moving closer to the edge of the bed now, crouching so their faces are level. “You’ve got nothing to worry about.” 

He kisses her then, more of a ‘cheer up buddy’ version than ‘I’m going to make you scream my name,’ but it’s definitely the little boost she needs. There’s a sweetness in it, it feels comforting to have his lips on hers. Even if it isn’t the aggressive make out session that features prominently in most of her first dates, it’s definitely doing its job. It takes almost nothing to get her going and after a few presses of lips together, she’s more than ready.

She stops to pull her dress over her head, the whole process is definitely less sexy than it could be; but once she’s done, Joey seems more than happy with what he finds underneath.

“You were not kidding about your boobs,” he says, almost reverently. He looks like he’s fully hard now and she’s never felt more proud. “And I like the whole situation you’ve got going down there.”

“Thanks.” None of her old underwear fit and while a more practical person would have just bought more; she hasn’t had a problem adopting the ‘commando’ lifestyle. Yes, it meant getting in and out of cabs was more difficult, but it was worth it just to have him so in awe of her nakedness. 

If she weren’t ready to burst, she might explore this more worshipful side of Joey. She could have him beg for her to touch him, make him eat her out for hours as she read Cosmo, or even just cuff his hands together as she rode him. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have that kind of time. 

She’s been in a persistent state of arousal for the past six weeks and if she doesn’t get fucked within the next minute, there’s a good chance that she’ll start crying.

“What do you want to do now?” He asks her, voice a little shy even if his pupils are huge.

“ I think…” she tells him, grabbing his hand and dragging him onto the bed with her. “I think I want to ride you. That’s what usually gets me off the fastest. That work for you?”

“I get to have sex,” he says, darting a hand to the nightstand drawer and grabbing a condom. “ Anything that works for you works for me.”

He tears the wrapper and throws it off the bed before rolling the condom onto his dick. It’s not like she can get any more pregnant but it’s a nice gesture. Joey has fucked most of Manhattan and probably all of Queens; it’s comforting to know that he’s not entirely reckless.

On the other hand, it feels incredibly awkward to get into position. Before, she didn’t have to worry about any of this. She could just twist in whatever way worked. With an enormous pregnant belly, she can’t really do as much in regards to acrobatics. 

 Joey doesn’t rush her. He’s propped up against the pillows, a hand running gently over the small of her back as she struggles to find an angle that doesn’t make her feel like the rogue boulder in _Indiana Jones._ It takes a while but when she finally straddles him, it becomes apparent that it was worth the wait.

It feels so fucking good to be filled that she lets out a moan that normally would have been reserved for the sets of some pretty steam porno set. In her haze, she can hear Joey let out a muttered ‘oh, fuck,’ but that’s not her concern right now.

Her concern is getting off.

She starts slowly, lifting her hips up until he almost slides out of her before slamming them back down against him. It’s a tried and true method and it’s definitely not failing her now. 

Joey is smart enough to realize that his job is to not fuck up the rhythm and he more than complies. He’s propped up high enough to have access to her neck and as she rides him, he kisses a hot trail down from the curve of her neck to the tops of her breasts. His hands are on her hips, their hold tight but not constricting as she comes closer and closer to orgasm. 

“I’m gonna cum soon,” she tells him, her voice breathy as she can feel her nerve endings sing. “I’m gonna cum on your cock."

“Yeah,” he groans, hands gripping tighter as she begins to move faster. He pulls back from her neck to gaze up at her with heavily lidded eyes. “Whatever you need, Pheebs. I want to make you cum.”

 This is apparently enough to send her over the edge. It feels like her whole body is shaking and it’s truly a miracle that she doesn’t fall of the bed entirely, her legs quaking and a string of “ _oh fuck yes, oh fuck yes”_ streaming from her mouth.

She’s basically useless at this point, lacking the rhythm to keep going, but Joey seems to sense this. He wraps her in his arms, pressing them together as close as they can be with the belly in between them and just starts fucking her.

There’s no elegance in it, he’s not trying to tease her or seduce her. He’s just fucking her, his cock getting deep as he thrusts into her.

It doesn’t take that long for his movements to start getting faster and his groans to fill her ear as he approaches his own climax. There’s a final hard thrust and it nearly sets her off again, the thrill of getting Joey off serving as the perfect reasoning for another selfish orgasm.

They stay like that for a minute, both panting as they come back down before it becomes apparent to Phoebe that straddling a person isn’t nearly as comfortable a position when you aren’t having sex in the process.

She gingerly rolls off of him to lay at his side and as she settles in, he takes off the condom, tying it and chucking it in the garbage can. He’s pretty good at knots for someone who never got the chance to be a Boy Scout, but Joey’s always been good at things that involved his penis.

He smiles at her now, already moving his arm to pull her to his side. “That was…”

“Yeah,” she agrees, nuzzling against his chest. “It was pretty good.”

“Definitely,” he replies, his chin resting against the top of her head. “I only feel bad that the babies saw it. I don’t want their first memory to be a dick in their faces.”

“They’re my brother’s kids,” Phoebe says, too blissed out to roll her eyes at his concern. “If that’s the worst thing that happens to them, I’d be surprised.”


End file.
